blog/assets/js/quote.js

// © shrapnelnet. 0 BC til 4 kajillion million years AAD.
//   .
//     .
// . . .

const quotebank = [
    "jesus don't want me for a sunbeam!",
    "is the man who sold the world",
    "choose life, choose a job",
    "chuffing back a fat dart",
    "still not goth",
    "может правда все закончится вот так!",
    "active cigarette lobby member",
    "this user is mortal",
    "the internet is serious business",
    "beer respects me",
    "on the internet, nobody knows you're a dog",
    "good grief!",
    "bow to me!",
    "stuffed with love fluff",
    "tip your waiter",
    "on a plain",
    "UK DUTY PAID",
    "let children breathe your smoke!",
    "my back hurts!!",
    "happy new year 2003!",
    "meows at passing cars",
    "are you okay, dude?",
    "axolotl fan",
    "this user enjoys smirnoff",
    "this user enjoys chekhov",
    "now with 50% less sugar",
    "contains nicotine and tar",
    "only to be sold as a multipack",
    "banned in syria!",
    "popular in azerbajan!",
    "friends with sewerslvt!",
    "did not do that thing in bosnia",
    "legally blind!",
    "is fragile! (be nice)",
    "over 5 views a month!",
    "now likeable!",
    "pagination is hard!",
    "did not sign up for this",
    "better luck next life!",
    "loves msg!",
    "why not take a break?",
    "i killed kenny!",
    "i am cute when i sleep!",
    "i can't see!!!!!",
    "invented git!",
    "responsible for java v8!",
    "now marketable!",
    "secretly made lainchan!",
    "got rid of the python GIL!",
    "is paid £5000000 for this!",
    "this user enjoys absolut vanilla",
    "perpetually ill!",
    "possibly the bees knees",
    "generally jovial",
    "full time ikea fiend",
    "refuses to pay £1.90 for monster energy ultra",
    "writing from prison",
    "possibly richard nixon",
    "friends with doctor house!",
    "manufactures glycine!",
    "loves to hate!",
    "hates to love!",
    "has popcorn lung!",
    "is goddamn tired!",
    "friends with makarov!",
    "invented the ak/47!",
    "Licensed clairvoyant!",
    "on the agora road!",
    "set a doctype moron!",
    "installing adware...",
    "i have your ip address!!",
    "pure filth!",
    "i hate computers!",
    "meow meow meow",
    "merry christmas!",
    "wears an eyepatch!",
    "made a humans.txt file that you didn't even read...",
    "friends with jay eazy!",
    "fan of rain!",
    "certified fresh!",
    "morbid!",
    "enjoys scraps of wire!",
    "free as in freedom!",
    "RMS' biggest fan!",
    "XZ utils exploit author!",
    "friends with linus torvalds!",
    "not a real programmer!",
    "brigitte main!",
    "i renamed twitter!",
    "just hit the east side of the LBC!",
    "has 1 hour of computer time this week!",
    "grounded! (no fly list)",
    "friends with maia crimew!",
    "destroyed gradle with my own two hands!",
    "evil!!!",
    "proud keychron owner!",
    "rotten!",
    "is george w bush!",
    "it's a unix system!",
    "runs on forbidden hardware!",
    "hosted by gnomes!",
    "all your base are belong to me!",
    "needs methylphenidate badly!",
    "is hiring!",
    "can't afford their own infrastructure!",
    "has a tenuous relationship with god!",
    "friends with KoRn!!!",
    "fucked up the git webhook earlier!",
    "who do you think you are, i am!",
    "now violent!",
    "invented r/wholesome!",
    "friends with phil elverum!",
    "invented javascript!",
    "15,000 hits!",
    "/privatekey.gpg",
    "engages in passive substance usage!",
    "victim of react.js!",
    "vercel's pricing model sucks!",
    "muh cloudflare!",
    "loyal to dongguan elux corporation!",
    "friends with harrison ford!",
    "made in zanzibarland!",
    "NOT solid snake!",
    "is kazuhira 'kaz' miller!",
    "psycho mantis?",
    "slowly becoming less fond of systemd!",
    "quoteaholic!",
    "excellent relationship with alcohol!",
    "full of lead!",
    "will send you straight to hell if you query /.env!",
    "delivered from god to nginx to you!",
    "caddy is for cowards!",
    "refused to release big bosses ashes!",
    "fond of jerma!",
    "i like concepts!",
    "sees in 5 dimensions!",
    "your codebase scares me!",
    "disavows skyrim players who spec in 2 handed!",
    "cannot design a modern looking site!",
    "now 4000 years old!",
    "i only update the quotes!",
    "now confused about the APNG spec!",
    "i hope you're not my future employer!",
    "your copy of blog.shr4pnel.com is personalised!",
    "shut down myspace!",
    "demoted for eating all the office mugs!",
    "i sell your data!",
    "now with more hatred!",
    "oops! all webshit!",
    "creator of... eurgh....",
    "grimes has 2 good songs but they're just good.... not excellent. its not my thing really but those two songs are pretty alright. i think. maybe?",
    "asahi is one fine beer!",
    "i've seen your source code and i hate it!",
    "i write code in java to make you upset",
    "running on slackware!",
    "gentoo is for hipsters who don't know that they're hipsters!",
    "this will be MOTDs in 2025:",
    "still doesn't know how to use active directory in 2025",
    "bits and bytes and snails and mites!",
    "words will never hurt me was written by a troglodyte 4 billion years ago to be that recurring bit in garfield where he gets an encyclopedia thrown at him"
]


const len = quotebank.length
const quote = quotebank[Math.floor(Math.random() * len)]
document.getElementById("quote").innerHTML = `“${quote}”`